England managed to eke out a 20-7 victory over Italy in the Six Nations at Twickenham on Saturday, but all similarity with the dominant rampage past the Scots a week ago ended there.
Jonny Wilkinson gave the worshipping crowd something to crow about, when his third-minute penalty took him past Neil Jenkins' total of 406 which Wilkinson had equalled against Scotland last week.
That was one true nugget of gold. The rest was like so much unwashed iron pyrites. The watching Princes William and Harry spent most of the match with their chins on the heels of their hands, as England ignored the fact that they had the beating of Italy out wide and spent the match trying to plough through Italy's roughnecks in the cold winter mud.
England, awesome last week, descended once again into the awful, and indeed were fortunate at times that Italy's current trough shows no sign of rising towards their peak of last November.
If England came to Twickenham this Saturday in the hope that the Calcutta Cup sparkle would turn into champagne, they must have been disappointed indeed to be dished up flat beer that resembled dishwater.
There was no sparkle at all, and even people like the ebullient Harry Ellis became plodders. With ten minutes to go Jonny Wilkinson dropped for goal, as if that was needed to make the match safe for his side. With five minutes to go, he kicked a penalty and some people booed their national treasure. With 24 seconds to go he kicked for touch.
It was that drab.
In the end it was a try apiece. Not once in the second half did England score a try or look like scoring a try. Italy got a try and promised to score on other occasions as they dominated the half.
In the match as a whole England had the better of possession, Italy the territory. And in the end Italy were the ones running and looking like an all-round side while England kicked or played one-at-a-time rugby.
I say again: it was a drab match.
At one stage the loudest noise was when Wilkinson kicked the ball out and it hit a photographer. Later the crowd did a Mexican wave. "Sweet Chariot" was muted.
Hats off to the Italians who stood up manfully and redeemed themselves from last week's poor performance in Rome. They lost on the scoreboard but won in many other ways.
Asked after the match if they should not have tried to run the ball earlier, returning veteran Alessandro Troncon said: "Yes. We played very simple, very structured."
For England it was a soundbite echoing back to the bitter ashes of November.
And Harry, Wills and Kate were there to provide more interest than the rugby!
The set pieces worked well enough for both sides and England won the penalty count 13-6. Wilkinson goaled five kicks for England, Andrea Scanavacca missed two for Italy.
The England backs were devoid of fluidity. Big men Andy Farrell and Mike Tindall posed little threat to Italy and, when Italy came alive, were overshadowed in attacking ability by Gonzalo Canale and the best centre on the field, Mirco Bergamasco. Before they began running Italy resorted to a futile series of high kicks varied by an equally futile series of diagonal kicks, both of which were simply transferring possession to England. But England seemed never to consider using their backs as a way of breaking the shackles on the game.
Throughout the match the delivery from the tackle/ruck was slow, slow, slow, and more than anything knocked the pace of the game flat.
The mauling, except for two by Italy, was painfully static.
At the final whistle the vanquished had broader smiles than the victors.
England kicked off and within three minutes had three points on the board as, when Martín Castrogiovanni was penalised for collapsing an England scrum, Wilkinson goaled a penalty to become the highest scorer in the International Championship, passing Neil Jenkins.
Wilkinson kicked another penalty on 15 minutes and a third on 23 minutes.
At this stage Denis Dallan broke his ankle. It was a simple as that. He was chasing a kick and tripped over the lower leg of Sergio Parisse. There was a long wait while he was taken off in agony.
England came close but Tindall was brought down at the five-metre line which he may have thought was the goal-line, but a poor clearance by Roland de Marigny gave England a five-metre line-out on their right. Italy lost their captain Marco Bortolami to the sin bin for coming in at the side of a promising England maul. While he was absent England scored a try.
England eventually went wide to the left where Josh Lewsey patted on a pass to Jason Robinson, who, with Kaine Robertson sucked in, scored in the corner. That was a minute before half-time and meant that England led 14-0 at the break.
In that half England had had three five-metre line-outs without being over to brush aside the Italian defence. The spirit of Horatio was still there!
England set up camp in their own territory in for much of the second half and on a rare sortie out of it scored when Wilkinson kicked a penalty. 17-0 after 55 minutes.
It was then that Italy livened things up and Troncon had much to do with it as he played quickly and Italy got quicker ball from the tackle/ruck than England ever did. Josh Sole and Carlo Festuccia were close to scoring and then they had a five-metre line-out as Wilkinson cleared weakly.
England survived but then came the best bit of rugby in the whole match, a sparkling jewel set off by dull foil. From well within their own 22 and not far from the touch-line on their left they started to counter with clever running and passing by Mirco Bergamasco, Matteo Pratichetti and Scanavacca who set Sole running at the line. Sole was brought down but Scanavacca got it from the ground and ran unchallenged for some 12 metres to score under the posts. Italian glee was barely controlled.
Scanavacca converted to make it 17-7, and in the last 15 minutes Wilkinson kicked a penalty and Italy played the better rugby till the final whistle went.
Man of the Match: Harry Ellis was a contender and so was Martin Corry. For Italy there were Mirco Bergamasco, Josh Sole and our Man of the Match Alessandro Troncon, playing his 93 Test with verve, skill and commitment, looking like Italy's leader.
Moment of the Match: Andrea Scanavacca's try. No other moment came close.
Villain of the Match: Not really, not even mortified Marco Bortolami and his little yellow card.
The scorers:
For England:
Try: Robinson
Pens: Wilkinson 5
For Italy:
Try: Scanavacca
Con: Pez
Yellow card: Bortolami (35, Italy, collapsing a maul)
The teams:
England: 15 Iain Balshaw, 14 Josh Lewsey, 13 Mike Tindall, 12 Andy Farrell, 11 Jason Robinson, 10 Jonny Wilkinson, 9 Harry Ellis, 8 Martin Corry, 7 Magnus Lund, 6 Nick Easter, 5 Danny Grewcock, 4 Louis Deacon, 3 Phil Vickery (captain), 2 George Chuter, 1 Perry Freshwater
Replacements: 16 Lee Mears, 17 Julian White, 18 Tom Palmer, 19 Tom Rees, 20 Shaun Perry (Bristol), 21 Toby Flood, 22 Mathew Tait.
Italy: 15 Roland De Marigny, 14 Kaine Robertson, 13 Gonzalo Canale, 12 Mirco Bergamasco, 11 Denis Dallan, 10 Andrea Scanavacca, 9 Alessandro Troncon, 8 Sergio Parisse, 7 Maurizio Zaffiri, 6 Josh Sole, 5 Marco Bortolami (captain), 4 Santiago Dellapè, 3 Martín Castrogiovanni, 2 Carlo Festuccia, 1 Andrea Lo Cicero
Replacements: 16 Fabio Ongaro, 17 Salvatore Perugini (Toulouse), 18 Valerio Bernabò, 19 Roberto Mandelli, 20 Paul Griffen, 21 Ramiro Pez, 22 Matteo Pratichetti
Referee: Nigel Owens (Wales)
Touch judges: Joël Jutge (France), Christophe Berdos (France)
Television match official: Hugh Watkins (Wales)
Assessor: Michel Lamoulie (France)
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